Category: Poem

how do dead dreams die
do they just slip away
dissipate while you cry

do they go out fighting
or do they lock up to a day
when they hope for reuniting

with that spark of hope
learning how to cope
while new dreams take the stage

how do old flames burn out
do they sputter and smoke
drift away while you pout

do they go out in a blaze
or do they smolder and choke
the world with a lingering haze

blinding the time ahead
confused and mislead
clouding the path to better days

surely i don’t know
i’ve all ready let mine go

surely i don’t care
i’m totally unaware

surely i don’t mind
if you’re taking your time
(to figure you out)

surely i don’t dream
of the things you’ve been

surely i’ve got my life
and i think i’m all right

it’s just the way i am
maybe it’s heartless 
to you
but understand

i never meant this 
that’s true

how do your dreams die
that’s not a question i
can ever be an answer to

burnt out street lights 

lining my way

ahead is empty black space

i will light it up

you’ll see

i don’t need love

but it would be sweet

if you were here with me

when i reach the end

rain pours down again

gutters run with the wind

people scatter across the street

no eye contact looking at feet

and i’m just smiling

i’m just laughing

i’m standing still

waiting for my thrill

i will light it up

you’ll be free

i don’t need love

if it’s only killing me

if you aren’t here with me

when i reach the end

i’ll forgive you always

time and time again

dark highway ahead

long road way home

thinking about the hidden meanings

in the things specially said 

you stood there watching me

a lay naked in the heat

you mumbled something

while i pretend to sleep

i will light it up

you’ll be sheen

we don’t need love

just a few hours in between

if you aren’t there with me

when i rise again

i’ll find you in the stars

reborn alive my friend

alone

walking into the ocean, don’t know when i’ll be back…

a vague white spark.
here arrives.
heart, beat, jump.
thunderized.

(i come alive)

it even smells like rain.

(i could’ve died)

here comes the pain
showering pouring down
here comes the same
lonely broken clown

a vague white spark.
here tonight.
heart, beat, jump.
thunderized.

(i come alive)

it even smells like rain.

(i would’ve died)

tell us a story,
of another life,
when we were nothing,
i’d call mine.
sorrow borrowed on time.
give me the freedom
(give me peace)
i’ve tunneled out
bargained my release.

a vague white spark.
there revived.
heart, beat, jump.
thunderized.

(i came alive)

it even smells like rain.

(i should’ve died)

I watch the satellites

Streak across the night sky
Echoing signals to somewhere unknown
Martians and robotic men

Arriving in flying saucers 
To conquer man
Rocket to the moon

Sign me up for a space suit
I want astronaut dreams 
Shooting star

Trip across the black night
Meteorite
Burns out so bright

I watch the satellites
Streak across the night sky
Echoing signals to somewhere like home

Don’t forget to…
Make a wish for…

my apologies for being a person lost when everyone around is pretending to be found. i am the rock in the middle of the current. i am the current. i am the ocean it carries and moves. and i move. the world moves. we are ever interconnected. i am sorry i can stand in a crowd and feel alone but happy. because happiness is your own making. your creation. happiness is you. and if there is no you there is no happiness. like all things. if i am here. you are there. i can reach out and pull this string and the one the thousands the millions the billions of strings it is knotted to will come with me.

my apologies for not being that which you seek to find. i forgive myself. i forgive time. i collect time. i shift little slivers of seconds in my soothing sack. i practice words to say when i have saved up enough to finally see through. a sack of sliver seconds. adding up to a moment. one brief beautiful birth.

my apologies for being a person found when everyone will be lost. i am the crystal in the middle of the orbit. i am gravity. i am the wobble and the tilt. and i love. the world loves. we are ever interconnected. i am sorry i can fly in the clouds and feel surrounded but sorrowful. because sorrow is your own making. your creation. sorrow is you. and if there is no you there is no sorrow. like all matter. if i am there. you are here. i can pull back on our string and the billions the millions the thousands the one knotted string will come back to me. one by one by single knotted one.

written by barbara doduk

down by the ocean, the gulls glide on air
sweet sea salt moisture, tastes like here
welcome home Carrie, welcome back
echo our memory, never forget

slipping down the alleys, garbage stacked high
sutrid stench wafting your nose while you walk by
welcome home Carrie, welcome back
echo our memory, never forget

just as were open, the doors all seem closed
all the old hang outs have been bulldozed
welcome home Carrie, welcome back
echo our memory, never forget

city sky line outlined against the hills
remember the late night party thrills
big buildings all covered in glass
reflecting your face as you pass

nothing much changes, things stay the same
as your face ages, isn’t it a shame,
we can’t be there forever
to watch it all fade, to watch history on parade

sand in my toes, the beach has been combed
the ships in the harbor klink while their moored
welcome home Carrie, welcome back
echo our memory, never forget

words by barbara doduk

---

7.

and

the question wasn’t answered

and ended in a why

over the hill

into the valley cave

soft and sweet

lingering there

hovered

tasting the longing for more

and

angels sang above the window ledge

and held the stars in their place

formed the clouds

to set background

for morning red sun shining

over deep tanned skin of land

the tarnished life

seasoned weathered smiles

and

no more

or less was spoken

jumping off jagged cliffs

landing in the mind

confused over answers

that came from the wonder

of the beginning

the hope for no end

ever with a mirage of waves

washing the slick of me away

into the void dark pit

all without light

on the rim of it

and

time became aware

and ticked off its charming hand

the wings rushed to hide

when out of the fantasy I arrived

and the air roams without cause and aim

over the flush

the pink

the hue

of the flesh of him

over the meat of me

and

the end is open

to the various functions and flaws

questions without reasonable pause

quick and sure plead

all answered

dreaming the what

of the gut

to the pain

the gift

the mixed up matter and countless reminders

and

a mourning went

flushed away

lifting

drifting

drive

I have the memory of the longing

for the more of this

the detoured roads let travel begin

tarred black the sticky path

and

it repeats skips

and shoots the arrow bow over the tree

into the pulp cupid

and down it all goes in a psychedelic dream

ripping away the seams

and stitching back the remains

bone patching

the holes whole

with lip melting kisses

soft cheek caresses

so I can flower

and grow in the world garden

no more questions

just

here

I

go

---

words by barbara doduk

---

3.

and

melancholy flowers droop

vase edges

stuck on empty ledges

flowered

over bloom

the pedals weep

and bleed gloom

brown patch

purple glow of perfume stench

killed by love

and loving to be dead

in all the lies he said

and

winter washing in

over snow bleak bitter clouds

after the autumn rush

drags long way down

splinter needs

aspirations gleam

in Frosty’s coal eyes

carrot cake code

over the Grinch’s green grin of hate

kills me

eats at me

and

April springs new a rose

and love spreads

take another piece of me

over and fried

saturated in the sinking sickness

known

and unknown

puzzled over pieces not fitting

pictures

plod

questions quizzical

ramble

rustle

around my mind

and

embryo egg

hatching

new horizons

blue colliding kaleidoscope

dreams swirl over

the red simple

mislead tangle

dizzying ride

fantastic world of drug love

covering clover

grass grazing lows

high hills over the yellow valley parades below

and

there’s no light tunnelled in dark hallow ends

meeting the colossal universal worm hole

inside

outside

the timbers fall

crack

groan

mowed down

denim Jean flightless bird

patched blanket

tumble in the seeds

and

it lasts ever into dreams

flashing images

tattooed little memories

etched in flesh ink

black ribbon

like sun spot blindness

eclipsing me

leaving me alone

free

unrestrained

with the ends left loose

never spoken a good-bye,

---

words by barbara doduk

---

6.

and

with a rush

over the inside out

the point was made

without much more

and the fuss was to begin

with all that stuff

over who is who

and what owns what

and

the argumentative combat zone

sheltered edges

razors length

of cold shots fired at the armour shield

blood shed over the

who was feeling the what

and the when

of the where

of the how of it all

and

morning rose her ugly head

and spat out the death

the foetal nine month

mourning baby

cry

we all wept

an angle angel crossed her tightrope of stone

and my head went rolling off the block like queens

of loveless marriages

past

present

future dreams

and

then more came news of past infidelity

infertile mouse

trapped in his metal band without care

without thought

or judgement

left stale

plastic paled

the sunshine grew tall trees

with pathetic lies

and

final round bell dinged

over the fearless sound of tomorrow

the drowning file stuffed fat

with paper contradictions

overflowed

with some cash cow king sucking my life

draining me of soul

and leaving me empty

and

in end the buried fool

killed the clown himself

over the embers

the remaining lingering smoke

the end was here

and this was all I had left

a pale line outline

left-hand ring-finger,

---