Euthenics

It wasn’t something I came to easily.
Although convincing wasn’t that hard.
Give me an inch – I’ll take the whole mile.
I’m greedy.
I love the expense.
Give me a shot and I’ll climb the no trespassing fence.
I’ve given my gold away.
Parted my essence for many a dream.
Dreams that scattered on the jagged edged swords of callous men.

But I have no regrets.

None that I’m aware.
Although this isn’t me here talking to you.
No it’s not. I’m never me.
Not the one you know in any event.
I’m a make believe character from some far away land.
I live in a world all my own.
No windows, no walls.
No wicker baskets or waterfalls.

Maybe I am crazy.
But I think I’m on the line.
I’ve never crossed over but I could if I found the time.
I could have killed a man.
Simple as it is.
No one would have known it was I.
As easy as pie.
Invite me over for a piece of cake and I’ll steal the whole on the fly.
Nameless tea drinking guest.
Sugar with lots of cream.
Secret rendezvous in the back room.
Guitar stroking, record recording below.
Serial conversations.
Waxing on the ebb of the common tide.
You knew I was dangerous.
The warning label was clear.
But you risked your neck for a piece of thrill.
Maybe it does rubberize dreams.
Bouncing your vesicant bubbles over my fields.
But you knew the risk.
You took it, good.
You enjoyed the straps and the cards dealt in your favour.
The glue that held that moment in the quick.Sunken treasures, unclothed myths.
We outsmarted the whippersnappers and avoided the big kiss.
Maybe the bliss wasn’t ignorant.
We knew the arsenal we projected.
Some slim chance for something more.
But maybe I am crazy –
I torched the bridge because I’m too lazy.
Crawl across the ruins to hold the ashes.
Maybe I could teach some holocaust classes.
How to get over the good, the bad and the ugly.
I’ll try not to act so smugly when I part your sea.
I don’t think you’ll ever give that credit to me.
But all is fair in love and war, and the no man’s land heart.
It wasn’t something I thought through.
But when ever is that something I do.
It wasn’t something I came to easily.
Although – convincing wasn’t that hard.


Written by Barbara Doduk October 14, 1999